Gentle readers: Happy New Year! For those of you who filed the multiple missing persons reports due to my disappearance from the blog, rest assured that I am okay. Between post-election reeling and a mountain of responsibilities involving that thing that pays me every month, I took a break from blogging. And now, I'm back with a brief list of New Year's Resolutions to usher in 2009 and a great recipe to celebrate another year!
New Year's Resolutions for Our Nation:
5. If you are not African-American, resolve to not inform every person of color you see, particularly me, that you voted for Barack Obama, particularly if you live in a red state, particularly Oklahoma. You will not make the point, as Larry David once said, that you are "one of the good ones."
4. If you are African-American and belong to the Republican Party, resolve to let your friends figure out "Barack, the Magic Negro" all by themselves. DO NOT get involved. You don't have to agree with Colin Powell that your party is a big pile of crazy right now, but don't accuse reasonable people of being too sensitive when they alert you or others to the fact that Republicans are not capable of satire. You exchanged your satire skills for all that money and power.
3. If you are governor of a state and you are in huge trouble, resolve to develop a sense of shame. 'Nuff said.
2. If you conned, I mean sold, someone a subprime or another terrible and financially crippling mortgage, resolve to write and memorize your plea before God, because you will so need it.
1. If you are one of those people who doesn't like dealing with the real world, so you don't keep updated on news and thinks the "Daily Show" is equivalent to reading a newspaper daily, resolve to get a f----g clue, grow up and deal.
How can you possibly keep all these resolutions? Well, your best bet is to start with a heaping plate of hoppin' john and greens, a traditional Southern meal that brings good luck throughout the year. Hoppin' john is a savory meal of black, eyed peas (or whatever bean you enjoy) seasoned with bacon, onions and vinegar if you are so inclined. A dish of the Carolina Low Country, hoppin' john is said to have originated from slaves, who ate the meal to start their new year's on an optimistic note. In some traditions, a coin is hidden in the bean dish, and whoever finds it is granted good luck throughout the year. In the same vein, greens are eaten with hoppin' john because greens are the color of money. Considering the economy lately, you may be eating a lot of beans lately, so think of it as more than a sacrifice... it may be your first step out of your worries.
Happy New Year! Happy Eating!