Monday, October 20, 2008

Special Report: Sticky Toffee Pudding (U.K.)


While I was away on my European tour, I made an effort to eat as many local or national specialties I could get my paws on. It was quite a challenge, but I sacrificed my fiber intake and HDL levels to report back on the best of Ireland. I ate scones, drank Guinness, paired chicken curry with chips, scarfed down the plate piled high with boiled potatoes and nearly choked on shepherd's pie. I was a real trooper. The best of all these culinary opportunities was the ending to a risotto-steak-lots of red wine-chips meal. I skipped past the tiramisu and cheesecake and ordered a lovely sticky toffee pudding. I had only heard of the dessert from the expletive-loving television chef Gordon Ramsay. And I didn't f---g regret it.

Sticky toffee pudding is a simple dessert of sponge cake made with finely chopped dates drenched in a caramel-colored toffee sauce. With each sweet spoonful, I thought about all the sticky situations the world's leaders find themselves. Okay, I didn't really think about that, but I finally have a dish that yields an easy passage into politics talk. Just let me have this one.

If only a nice dish of dessert could fix awkward moments like if you were running for Vice President of the United States and you start mistaking people shouting your name for people protesting against your crazed, reactionary political rhetoric, but then you find out that they were just asking you to speak louder. Or maybe when you are losing a presidential election and start resorting to the underhanded tactic of robocalling, even though that same method was used against you in a racist ploy to hamper your chances of winning the Republican presidential nomination, wouldn't some sticky toffee pudding be nice? Or perhaps, you could keep some sticky toffee pudding handy in your car if you are an asshead radio show host who has so little regard for a general who exemplifies the values you purport to defend, that you suggest that his sophisticated and thoughtful explanation of his support of a political candidate is only about race, as if your entire career was not only based upon race, but also racism and racial hatred; wouldn't a pudding be more beneficial than prescription medications?

See folks, sticky toffee pudding is as reliable as the pro-Americans in the pro-America part of America. Oh wait, sticky toffee pudding is not American, so can this dessert help pro-Americans be pro-Americanish while doing pro-America activities? Don't fret dear reader, I have a version of this recipe that will fulfill your desire to be pro-American, and it will save your teeth from a serious sugar soak. Besides, you probably need to save on visits to the dentist. For a Freedom version of sticky toffee pudding, may I suggest using a basic angel food cake, then preparing a sauce of sugar-free pancake syrup, chopped walnuts, and diced apples. Heat the sauce ingredients over medium heat until the syrup thickens. Pour over angel food cake and let sit to allow cake to absorb the syrup. Serve warm with chopped walnuts. Then, go out and get into even stickier situations.

Happy Eating!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Freedom ain't free, and neither is a good international dessert.

I haven't heard the official word, but I bet Portland is not a pro-American part of Oregon or the country. That's probably why it feels so good to be here.

smithsan said...

Remove the cake from the oven, leaving the oven on. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, poke holes through the cake and ladle half the toffee sauce over the cake to fill the holes; set aside the remaining sauce. Bake the cake for 15 minutes more. Let cool in the pan for 1 hour, then invert onto a platter and top with the reserved sauce.
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